A much needed visit to the woods

May 23, 2022 by woodlander23 8 Comments

The ill person that I spoke about in the last post was my wife. She has since passed away and my life will be changed forever now. After 53 years of being together it leaves a hole so deep and wide. There is no pain like this one, no words to describe the terror I felt for a month and the hollowness and emptiness that follows. I find it almost impossible to think of anything else. Each day is a drudge to get through but I am still here and have to find a way to fill my life with something meaningful. I am so grateful to be the guardian of these woods and will find some healing here and will continue to visit on a regular basis as long as I am able.

Yesterday was the first time I felt anything other than grief. I came to the woods with my youngest daughter to get some nature therapy. How it has grown in just a month! Paths are becoming hard to negotiate and I will need to do some clearing soon. The woods are so lush and fresh now and it felt good to be back there. We fed the birds, lit a fire, made coffee and later cooked sausage and eggs to make sandwiches. My daughter is shaping up with her fire lighting skills. Without instruction, she set about gathering kindling. I showed her how to use a firesteel and flint and she soon had a flame going in the bird-nest bundle.

There were no jobs done, we simply enjoyed the beauty and peace to be found there and for a while I felt good, just being in the moment. I have a huge emotional mountain to climb over the coming months before I will start to feel anything like good on a day by day basis but the woods will help.